Andy's Grabby Picks #1- Best Leather Video

In preparation for the upcoming Grabbys Gay Porn Awards, we here at Cortezified decided to come up with our own version of the Oscar's Pre-show you'd see on E!. So, each week until the show, we are posting our best guesses for who will win in each category. Most of them we could give two shits about and some of them, we wouldn't know the first thing about, but hey, at least our posts will be entertaining and just long enough to give your wanking arm a nice break between XTube videos.

First up this week, is "Best Leather Video". Here's a look at the nominees and our non-scientific, best guesses at the percentage, or chance, they have of winning:

75% "Folsom Flesh"-Titan Men

Just the fact that this movie was released on Blu-Ray™ is kind of impressive in our minds, even though we have our reservations on the topic. As for the movie itself, we really enjoy the no-frills style of this video. Especially the use of a strategically-placed TV set that shows you the view from the other side of the room. Plus, minus the piss, the sex is actually really hot with submissive cuties and hunky masters. We give Folsom Flesh a 75% chance of taking home Grabby Gold.

40% "Limits"-Mustang

I'm sometimes in shock at what the human body is capable of taking. No, that wasn't meant to be a poorly executed pun, I'm serious. When I was watching "Limits", I was definitely turned on by the muscular, glistening bodies and great use of lighting in those dark sets, but I was more so in shock at the way the movie made good on it's name and tested the limits of sexual exploration. Some really good stuff that I may just have to try out soon. We give Limits a 40% chance simply because of our next entry...

75% "Man Hole 2"-Mustang

You know what they say about sequels sucking more than the original? Well fuck them, fuck them chained up against the wall and gagged, because "Man Hole 2" definitely shits on that saying. There's really nothing to say about this movie, you just have to watch it. Some of these scenes are just too hot to handle. We give Man hole 2 a tied 75% with Folsom Flesh because both videos are absolutely hot in their own insane ways.

35% "Menace"-Raging Stallion Studios

I'm going to be completely honest and say I didn't see this film. But from what I can tell from my friends who have, they can't stop watching. That said though, I'm still convinced it won't hold up to our earlier entries. Not even a two-disc set.

15% "Reckless" & "Skuff 4"-Hot House Entertainment

Aah, Hot House Entertainment, what can't we say about you that hasn't already been said? One thing I will say, is that both nominees from them won't take home a Grabby this year. After watching five minutes of both movies I was uninterested and not pulled into it. Look, I understand it's porn and it's not exactly an oscar they're going for, but come on. I need to believe SOMETHING. The sex seemed dull for all parties involved and quite frankly, the cast seems surprisingly run-of-the-mill in both movies. Both Skuff4 and Reckless each have a 15% chance of winning Grabbys

65% "Taken: To The Lowest Level" & 30% "Tread Heavy"-Channel 1 Releasing

While we like both movies ("Taken" much more than "Treat" actually), the only reason we would give these two films as high a chance at Grabbys this year is the sheer fact that Chi Chi LaRue is hosting the show. Good, but not good enough. We give "Taken" a 65% chance and "Tread Heavy" a 30% chance of winning Grabbys.

EDIT: We originally gave both films an equal shot of 40% at winning, but after closer review, we have put "Taken" far ahead of "Tread Heavy". We frankly feel that "Tread Heavy" is just plain stupid and should not be grouped with an actual good smut film like "Taken".

15% "XXX"-Mustang


We just really couldn't get into this as a "Leather" movie. To be honest it was just a bunch of hunks sucking and fucking each other. Don't get us wrong, that's not a bad thing, but there just wasn't enough leather to really call it a leather movie in our opinion. At least not enough to hold up against any of the movies above. We give "XXX" a 15% chance of winning a Grabby.

Smell that?! It Smells Like Dirty, Dirty Butt Sex...

Ah, springtime in Chicago, there's nothing like it! The air gets warmer and the smell of freshly polished leather and lube fills the air!

The season of porn is among us as we draw closer to the 2010 IML and Grabbys. Soon, porn stars from all over the world will converge on my little town to strut their stuff and pat themselves on the back for another year of "hard" work sucking dick and plowing ass.

In celebration of the season that is upon us, the writing staff here at Cortezified (consisting of myself and my two Beagle pups Lucky and Baloo) will be taking a look at the nominees in each category and presenting our best guesses as to who will win and why.

Oh, and we're re-launching this blog at the same time since I'm getting laid off and need something to do to pass the time I should be looking for a job with.

Check back tomorrow for the first two categories; "Best Leather Movie" and commonly misspelled (at least at the Grabbys) "Best Videography"

Chad Manning Un-Retires, Literally Tens Excited

It turns out that Chad Manning will NOT abandon his career as a gay adult performer on April 25th as promised announced earlier this week.

Howard Andrew, owner of Fabscout Entertainment and Chad's agent, told GayVN Thursday that "Chad had an unpleasant interaction with someone and made a rash decision. He was angry, and he posted an announcement to his blog, but then he changed his mind and took it down." 

Right, or was it after he quit that he then found out what life outside the bubble was like? 

He's having a really good time in the industry right now, " Andrew continued "As a matter of fact, he's really excited about his new movie he's shooting for Steve Cruz. He said it's the best movie he's ever made, and more than that, the best crew he's ever worked with."

Be careful guys, if we learned anything from Christian Bale, "actors" can snap at any moment and you could end up with bruises on your face, or worse, being called a worthless piece of crap by a sub-par actor.

Twinks.com Launches Again, Five People Rejoice

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Set Relationship Status to: Divorced, Sharing Custody of Tragic Mess Movie

Get ready to take those MySpace pouty-lip pics, PZP Productions and Boheme LLC, co-producers of tragic mess of a movie Oliver Twink, have parted company.

I'm told that PZP owner Peter Z, a one-third partner in Boheme LLC and the owner of Oliver Twink's copyright, will continue to represent the video, but the companies will not work together in the future.

Don't cry just yet kiddos, PZP will be releasing yet another piece of corny, knock-off crap July 4th, when they release, you ready?

'The Twink Whisperer'. Oh God.

Photos Copyright and Courtesy of...well we just don't know now.

TitanMen Wants to Gross You Out With New Release on BluRay

Haven't we talked about this before? HD Porn isn't a good idea. If I wanted to count how many pimples are on my favorite leading man's ass, or take a better look at that hemorrhoid on my favorite top, I'd sit in on a shoot.

Well it looks like no one listened and TitanMen just announced that they will be releasing 'Folsom Prison' on BluRay May 27th, just in time for the 30th Annual Mr. Leather International Show, scheduled for May 22-26th in Chicago.

Directed by Brian Mills, the three-hours-plus film was shot and mastered and will be released in full 1080i HD widescreen format.

"We are very proud that Folsom Prison is the first gay adult film released simultaneously on standard DVD and Blu-ray HD," Mills said. "Folsom Prison is one of the finest hardcore fetish films we've ever made, and [this] is the perfect genre for high definition. For the first time, fans of hardcore fetish will get to see all the action up close and personal. With Blu-ray HD, you can see every single drop of sweat, piss and cum glistening on the hard muscular bodies of the performers. You feel like you could almost lick it off the screen."

Mmmmm, delicious.

A portion of each sale from the title will go towards the TitanMen/Folsom Fund, which benefits not for profit gay men's health orginizations.

Randy Blue Dictates My Schedule For the Next Few Months

Lucas Vick
Brent Diggs 
Kyle Hennesey
Xander Scott

I've already cleared out my entire calendar in anticipation of the 2nd Annual Boys of Blue Tour, which takes off here shortly. The studs that make this year's line-up include exclusives Chris Rockway, Reese Rideout, Xander Scott, Kenny Cross, Brent Diggs, James Hawk, Kyle Hennesey and Lucas Vick.

The tour will be taking these studs and more to towns across America, no doubt leaving many a wet dream behind. I, for one, can't wait for them to grace South Florida. 

The boys are being managed by JABB, same people bringing you the On Fire! tour. 

Don't forget to check out my future ex-husband (one can dream) Chris Rockway on the cover of this month's DNA Magazine.

Images copyright and courtesy Randy Blue

RandallRivero Can't Hold It Much Longer, Cums March 10th

If you're like me, you're waiting patiently for the launch of RandallRivero.com. Well, due to unforeseen circumstances, they have officially pushed back the launch of their much anticipated website to March 10th. Don't worry though, cuz they've got you covered with a way to feed your addiction to MySpace, and a way to win stuff.

Here's what the press release says:

"Do you like porn, clothing with logos, and lots and lots of MySpace friends? So do we! That's why Randall/Rivero is cumming to you with this special MySpace Sweepstakes!Add Derek Rivero and Randall/Rivero as a friend and get a free chance to win an autographed DVD featuring me and Derek, a T-shirt with the Randall/Rivero logo, and a place on our top friends.The next 1000 people to add Derek Rivero and Randall/Rivero as a friend on MySpace will be entered into two drawings to determine who wins!"

If you listen close enough, you can just hear the scurry of computer mice and the soft pitter-patter from feverish keying of the keyboards. Hurry up for your chance to win. Or, if you're like me, you can just keep refreshing your browser on RandallRivero.com over and over again, hoping for an early unveil.

See? I'm a Trendsetter, MTV Gets on Pornumentary Bandwagon

Just a few months after being signed as an exclusive to Jet Set, Aaron James will appear on an MTV True Life episode entitled "I Work In The Sex Industry".

The documentary, or as I like to call it "Pornumentary", will focus on James and two other youngin's who work in the adult industry (duh). The episode will begin airing tonight (wednesday) at 11pm ET and will be beaten with a stick rebroadcast in true MTV style throughout March.

A crew from the popular(?) MTV show followed James around for several months as he jet-setted (see the pun?) across the US. I'm told the episode will include footage of the filming of Jet Set Men's "On Fire!" as well as footage from his upcoming starring role in "Hollywood Sex Club" and from the Jet Set Men booth at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo. 

What I can't wait for is the frank discussions with James' family members who were unaware of James' endeavors into the porn world before the pornumentary was shot. 

I've got to trademark that.

Images copyright and courtesy Jet Set Men.

More Dumb Porn Starts Turned Criminals

Remember my earlier post of gay porn star-turned attempted hit-man for hire? Well, apparently 25-year-old porn twins Teyon and Keyon (Teleon and Keyontyli Goffney in real life) thought it would be fun to commit a few robberies in the PA, NJ and DE area. As many as 40 of them to be exact.

The twins, who have been seen on such high-brow sites as BlackMen.net, EbonyD and Flavaworks, were jailed February 19th after allegedly burglarizing a Rite Aid Pharmacy. 

Authorities said an alarm notified them about the Rite Aid break-in. After cutting through the roof of the building using a hand saw and an axe and taking cigarettes, condoms and about $2,000 in cash, the Goffney brothers allegedly broke into a Wings 'N More store (insert joke here) next door before police arrived. Keyontyli Goffney was arrested at the scene; Taleon Goffney was apprehended later, according to authorities.

Online court records indicate Keyontyli Goffney may be free on a $75,000 bond. Taleon Goffney, on the other hand, remains jailed pending $150,000 bail, according to the Daily News.

When will porn stars start up with Hollywood's normal vices, like drug addiction and bulemia?

Images Copyright and courtesy BlackMen.net